Reductress:

Full Reductress Author Archive

How to Be Impressed by The Little Things He Does Because He Definitely Won’t Do Big Things

How to Meditate Even Though You Never Stop Thinking About When Jay-Z Said ‘Your Breasteses Is My Breakfast’

Here’s How Often Happy Couples Have Sex and Then Tell Me to Stop Asking Them This

QUIZ: Is Your Bedroom Decor Modern, Bohemian, or Just a Pair of Christmas Lights Taped Above Your Bed?

Amazing! This Woman Spent A Whole Massage Thinking About How She Should Relax And Enjoy It More

5 Long Black Cardigans That Say “It’s LeviOsa, Not LeviosA”

McSweeney’s:

HOW COULD I BE PRIVILEGED WHEN MY FAMILY DIDN’T HAVE A HOUSEKEEPER FOR OUR OCEAN FRONT HOME?

Robot Butt:

Scholarly Synonyms for Sad to Impress Your Therapist With Since You’ve Made No Real Progress

Hot Deal! Williams Sonoma Announces Each Crock-Pot on Sale Has a Mother’s Soul Trapped in It and She’s Late for a PTA Meeting

The Higgs Weldon:

The Night At The Museum Happened To Me But All The Statues Wanted To Do Was Fuck

Women In Comedy Festival:

“Being Vegan Is A Stupid Way To Live” Says Man Accused Of Habitual Harassment